Thursday, April 18, 2013

Mom Failure

Oh my word, I have been on the ball with the kids this week. And by on the ball, I mean failing in every possible way on multiple fronts. I’m not talking about my normal, every day mom failures (voice raising, patience losing, etc). Those are a constant struggle. I’m talking about the ones where you forget things that are going on at your kids' school or activities. If you ask sweet Ben, he will tell you that I am EXCELLING in this department lately.
 
This brings me to an important point. If you’re going to be a failure, just do it all out. Own it. If you forget something that you were supposed to do or prepare on day 1, don’t tell yourself, “Oh, well, I’ll just make up for it tomorrow.” That kind of thinking is for sissies. Fail big or go home… that’s my motto.
 
So, without further adieu, a brief recap of the week’s failures thus far:
 
Monday – “Stuffed Animal Reading Day”
 
Instructions – Please bring your favorite book and stuffed animal to school for our reading day.

What we did – NOTHING. Totally forgot about the whole “Week of the Young Child” thing at school.
 
Ben’s take on things when I apologized for Monday’s shortcomings: “That’s Ok, Mom. Mrs. Mancias let me borrow one of her stuffed animals.”
 
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Tuesday– “Scarf or Tie Tuesday”
 
Instructions – Dress for success by wearing your favorite scarf or tie.
 
What we did – NADA. Forgot. Again.
 
Bonus points – It was 90ยบ and Ben went to school wearing long pants and a long sleeve thermal shirt.
 
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Wednesday – “Crazy Sock Day”
 
Instructions – Wear a pair of your craziest socks because we are CRAZY about reading.
 
What we did – Ok… I didn’t forget today’s activity. However, the closest thing Ben has to crazy socks is a brown/orange/blue argyle pair that match his Christmas sweater from year before last. So we just changed it from “Crazy Sock Day” to “Distinguished Grandpa Sock Day”.
 
The grandpa socks seemed to appease Ben because when I picked him up from school he said, “Thanks for reminding me to wear these socks so I didn’t have to feel left out.” Ouch.
 
What most kids were wearing at school:
 
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What Paw Paw Ben wore to sock day:
 
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Nailed it.
 
Bonus Points: On top of it being crazy sock day at school, it was also crazy hair night at Awana. Ben has a crew cut. I didn’t have the forethought to buy a can of that spray hair dye.
 
At drop off Ben says, “I guess my hair is too short for crazy hair day. Too bad… I think we get bonus points if we do things like crazy hair night.”
 
Double ouch. Let’s move on to…
 
Thursday– “Fiesta Flair Day”
 
Instructions – Kick off the San Antonio Fiesta by wearing your fiesta flair. Viva Fiesta!
 
“What is Fiesta?” you ask. Good luck figuring that out… I’ve lived here nearly 12 years and I still don’t understand it. It’s some sort of San Antonio holiday, similar in some ways to Mardi Gras (parades, carnivals, parties, etc). The kids get a day off of school because at some point in the city's history some people gathered together at the Alamo and threw flowers at each other. You can read all about it here.
 
Anyway, your guess is as good as mine as to what constitutes Fiesta flair… I asked some friends and these are the tips I got:
 
1. Dress him up in bright fun colors, wear those colored beads… or get him a sombrero, moustache, bright shirt, black slacks, and a sarape to put over his shirt.
 
2. I think a guayabera is what boys would wear.
 
3. Run by the fiesta store on main... They have lots of fiesta flair!
 
I love these dear friends, but who are they kidding… I couldn’t be trusted to spray Ben’s hair green or send him to school with an ALREADY OWNED stuffed animal. I can’t even PROUNOUNCE Guayaberas, and there was certainly not going to be any “running by the Fiesta Store”- which happens to be downtown - to pick up Sarapes, Sombreros, & Moustaches.
 
So, this is how Ben when to school.
 
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I sure hope “guayabera” can be loosely translated to mean “blue plaid shirt from your closet.” Oh, and the headwear is a party favor cowboy hat with the sheriff’s star yanked off. I call it the “Faux-brero”.
 
Anyhoo – that’s how things are going around here. Tomorrow is Spirit Day and Ben is supposed to wear his school t-shirt. There is a 50% chance said shirt is in the dirty clothes basket. I should double check and stick it in there even if it’s not dirty. No sense ruining my track record with some sort of mini success tomorrow.

2 comments:

  1. Oh Gabi, I love that you can poke fun at yourself. I have so done these sorts of things...like all the time. Last week I rushed my entire family to a birthday party - we got there only to realize it was scheduled for the next day!
    The kids had Western wear day this week...I tied a bandana around their necks and called it good. "But Mom, what about cowboy hats and boots?!" Uh, I don't even want to figure out where/when to shop for that!

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  2. Thanks, Angie! It's laugh or cry most days!

    PS Give me a call next time it's western day - you can borrow one of our three faux-breros.

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